The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Advice About Keeping A Man
1. Play Games To Keep Him Intrigued
This advice tells women not to be a completely open book – rather to ‘give the relationship time to simmer’ by being mysterious, holding back, and playing games.
This is not good advice – it’s basically telling you to act in an unnatural way around him to try to get him ‘chasing you’… when that’s the opposite of what creates a great foundation for a relationship that’s built to last.
He shouldn’t feel awkward, nervous, or uncomfortable around you – he should feel the opposite. He should feel like he’s at home, like he can be his true self, like he can trust you to let his guard down.
If you’re trying to play games to keep him interested and acting unnaturally, he’ll pick up on it really quickly – and that will put his guard up faster than you can blink.
So don’t try to play games at the start of a relationship – focus on being in the best mood you can be in when you’re with him and enjoying yourself. When you do that, you both feel comfortable and relaxed, which allows intimacy and trust to grow.
2. Don’t Do Anything Sexual Until You’re Close And Comfortable
Look, a lot has been written about when the ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ times to have sex are in dating.
I don’t have too much to add on the subject – because I think that ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ are totally subjective and different for every single person.
If you try to apply a one size fits all rule to this very sensitive topic, it winds up messing you up and making things feel weird or unnatural.
So my advice here is – ignore the advice about when the ‘right’ time to have sex is. Just go with what feels natural, what you’re comfortable with, and what you want to do in the moment.
If you act naturally and do what you naturally want to do, you’ll be doing the right thing.
3. Don’t Be Easily Available
There’s something to be said for having your own life – in fact I talked about it earlier in this article as a great way to keep a man in a relationship.
But that advice doesn’t mean you should artificially limit your time with him – then you’re just playing games (which is usually the exact wrong thing to do in a relationship).
Artificially trying not to be ‘easily available’ (whatever that means) leads you to act unnaturally – which he will pick up on and will stunt the growth of the relationship.
The nugget of good advice in this is to have your own life, like I talked about earlier. If he stands you up or doesn’t text you back in time to make plans, then move forward with your own plans rather than waiting with the phone for him to get back to you.
If you’re waiting by the phone for him to text you he’ll take you for granted and you’ll start to resent him – it’s a bad road to go down.
Instead, if he doesn’t get back to you to make plans, make plans with a friend or do something that you wanted to do anyway, and if he finally gets back to you hours later, tough luck – you’ve already got plans.
4. Make Him Dependent On You
I swear – this is real advice that someone wrote for women to follow: “Try to make him think he can’t live without you.”
There’s a term for that – it’s called a codependent relationship. This is terrible, TERRIBLE advice.
Do you really want to be with someone who can’t live without you, who leans on you for 100% of his support and needs you just to keep going and wake up and face the day?
That’s not a partner, that’s a child!
Both partners should have happy fulfilling lives outside the relationship, and when they come together they can enjoy being together and sharing their lives together.
He shouldn’t feel like he can’t live without you, that would smother you and make you feel like it’s a burden and a responsibility to support him.
That kind of dynamic sinks a relationship – deep down no one truly wants to be the sole person responsible for another person’s happiness.
Instead, you should be together because you’re better together than apart, because you genuinely enjoy being with each other, because you love being with each other. Not because you’re dependent on each other to make it through the day. Codependence is bad, stay far, far away from this advice.
I hope this article helps you keep the man you want interested. If you don’t want to ever risk losing him you need to know about the pivotal moment in any relationship that determines if you get to live happily ever after or he leaves you so pay attention to this next step because it’s vitally important: At some point he starts to lose interest. He doesn’t call you back or he becomes emotionally closed off. He seems like he’s losing interest or pulling away – do you know what to do? If not you’re putting your relationship and the future of your love life in great danger, read this now or risk losing him forever:
The second problem will undermine whatever relationship you have if it’s allowed to fester and destroy your relationship from the inside, so read this right now or risk your relationship because at some point he will ask himself is this the woman I should commit to for the long term? The answer to that will determine the fate of your relationship: Do you know how men determine if a woman is girlfriend material (the type of woman he commits himself to) or if he see’s you as just a fling? If not you need to read this next:
That’s it! Those are the best (and worst) pieces of advice when it comes to keeping a man. If you have any questions for me, leave them in the comments below and I’ll take a look.
How To Keep Him Interested For Good
- Find out what he’s interested in
- Give him space when he needs it
- Try to always look and feel your best
- Find out who he is and how compatible you are
- Don’t be afraid to experiment
- Live and cherish your lives outside the relationship
- Let him know how much you appreciate him
- Match his level of commitment