Telling your crush or close pal you like them is a bold, empowering move that should be applauded.
Having the guts to open yourself up to potential rejection, while also accepting you’re instantly changing the dynamic you share with someone, truly takes a lot of courage. Think about how many opportunities in life are wasted by not taking risks, right?
That said, regardless of your confidence level, there are some instances when telling someone how you feel is a straight-up bad idea.
Keep reading to find out what they are!
1. If They’ve Referred to You as Their ‘Sister’
Ah, the classic “you’re like a sister to me” comment. Sure, maybe that was an exaggeration in the case of Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber —remember when Sel famously told Ellen DeGeneres that The Biebs is her “little brother”?—but, typically, when someone refers to you as a family member, that’s their friendly way of telling you they don’t have romantic feelings for you. Steer clear from aiming for romance with this person, and at least embrace the fact that they consider you such a close companion.
2. If They’ve Ever Maliciously Mocked Your Appearance
Teasing is a part of life, and some of it is indeed playful, but there’s a fine line between harmless (or even flirtatious) and downright rude. If your crush calls your
“shortie” all the time, jokingly mocking your petite stature, they’re probably just being silly. But if their comments are disrespectful, like in regards to your weight, skin, or the way you dress, that’s a clear sign they don’t have feelings for you—and an even clearer sign you shouldn’t express your feelings for them.
3. If They’ve Directly Told You They Don’t Like You (Like That)
Whether in a lighthearted manner or perhaps a little more sternly, if someone straight-up tells you they don’t like you like that, take that info and roll with it. If you think that telling them how you feel will somehow change their mind, trust us, it will only make things more awkward. Leave this person be and move on to the next!
4. If They Encourage You to Date Other People
It’s one thing to be supportive of whom you’re dating, but if the person you’re crushing on enthusiastically encourages you be on the prowl, that’s a clear sign they’re not holding out for you to date them. If they liked you like that , you’d sense some hesitation in their thoughts on the people you date. Avoid telling them how you feel and continue keeping them around for dating advice and venting.
5. If Losing Them in the End Isn’t Worth the Risk
Whether you don’t want a potential breakup to ruin your friendship, or you don’t want to scare them off with your possibly unrequited romantic confession, if the thought of losing them forever scares you, then keep your feelings to yourself (and the friends you trust). Why risk ruining a good thing, right? But at the same time, if you feel confident putting yourself out there, then we’re not trying to stop you.
6. If They’ve Dated One of Your Close Friends
Even if you don’t care about jeopardizing your friendship with a close pal, attempting to date their former S.O. will create endless drama. Imagine if your entire new relationship is plagued by a scorned ex? Yep, that’s pretty much what you can expect. Also, it’s likely you all have mutual friends, and then people start taking sides and things get super messy. Get the idea? Yeah, hold off on this one.
If you’ve dated your crush’s close friend, expressing interest in this crush can shake things up between them and their pal—regardless of the outcome between you and the person you like. Going off of No. 5, this will get messy either way, so steer clear.
7. If They’re in a Relationship
It goes without saying, but if you develop feelings for someone who’s taken, keep those feelings to yourself, girl! Not only is “homewrecker” a title you don’t want on your dating resume, but the person they’re dating (along with their entourage) are going to make your life miserable. So hold off until your crush is single again, and then (if it feels appropriate) make your move.