Welcome to the Relationship section of our lifestyle blog
In our previous updates, we were able to explain to you how being obsessed with the past can affect present relationships.
Today, we’ll be giving you steps in which you can use to overcome hurt from the past relationship:
- REALIZE THEY ARE NOT THE SAME
If you are triggered by fearful thoughts of the same thing happening or are alarmed by something they said or did, realize that no two people are the same.
This may sound stupidly obvious to you right now, but if I had a pound for every time someone said “all men are the same” or “that’s women for you” or “it’s typical of that nationality” I’d be rich… (sorry for using such an overused old saying 😉 )
So we must remind ourselves of their differences. Your partner is not your ex or parent, neither will the situation or relationship ever be exactly the same. Keep in mind that it is not fair to make them pay for your past relationship hurts. Take a look at how you are reacting, are you tarring them with the same brush?
If yes, become aware of this and remind yourself of this simple fact and make an effort not to jump to conclusions.
- SEE YOUR TRIGGERS AS BLESSINGS
I view all triggers as both a test and a blessing. They highlight what we need to work on and overcome. Perhaps we are triggered by money tightness or overspending,
perhaps it’s something that makes us feel ignored, not important, undesired, or used. Or perhaps it is just fear coming up again that needs to be addressed. Self-awareness and the willingness to listen and look within, rather than blame are a sign of strength. Use whatever is triggering you as an opportunity to grow.
Also Read: Grow in love rather than fall in love
- FORGIVE PAST HURTS
The power of Forgiveness should never be underestimated. Personally, I don’t think that we truly realize how powerful it can be, until we’ve done it.
When we harbor resentment against someone, we are hurting ourselves, as we are the container in which the resentment is being held. By taking action we free ourselves. So forgiveness is a gift that you can give yourself, it’s not for your ex or parents. Forgiveness enables you to move forward and stop being a prisoner of the past.
It’s not easy I know, I use various ways to help people complete forgiveness. If it seems impossible right now… start today by saying or writing one of the following affirmations. “I am willing to begin to forgive” “I am in the process of forgiving and letting go” “I am willing to try to forgive a little more each day”
Also Find out: Ways to know you’re in love with the right person
- REMEMBER EVERYONE HAS Been HURT
You may have been hurt, lied to, let down, cheated on, disrespected, unappreciated… Many people have. Yet it is our scars and wounds that shape who we are. If everything was secure, comfortable, and worked out exactly how we wanted it to, how would we grow? But we do have a choice. We can hang on to the past or accept that hurtful things happen to good people…to most of us and we can choose to move on
- CHALLENGE YOUR BELIEFS AND VOWS
After a great deal of pain, many of us consciously or unconsciously create beliefs and vow’s, that limit our future happiness.
Here are some of the vows and beliefs that I have worked with cleared
- “I will never trust again”
- “It’s better to always hold something back”
- “I will never fall a madly in love again”
- “The only person I can rely on is me, I don’t need anyone else”
- “Love is for the weak”
- ” All men will cheat at some point”
- “All women want is your money”
- “True love doesn’t exist”
- “If I’m vulnerable I’ll die”
Write a list of what you believe to be true about relationships, love, and the opposite sex, anything you may have vowed to yourself. Our vows have the power to shape our whole future, often they are unconscious, where we are not aware of how much they are sabotaging our success in attracting love, in holding on to it and allowing love to grow.
- LET YOUR WALL FALL DOWN
Many of us after disappointment and heartbreak, put up a wall to protect ourselves from being hurt again. Whilst walls may protect us they hinder our ability to give and receive love.
This is what happened to me. I had created a wall around my heart because I didn’t want to be vulnerable. A wall that protected me from getting too close. Yes, it stopped heartache, but it also blocked me from experiencing the best relationships that can offer – a deep connection.
I thought I was the only one. The only one who would end relationships if I didn’t have control The only one who had to keep my independence Then working in the field of relationships I realized there are many, who for one reason or another, are skeptical about love, relationships, and happiness. They are too frightened to fall in love again, too scared to let the wall down.
True happiness comes however from being fearless in love, from opening your heart and soul, from being vulnerable at times. So practice letting your wall down, visualize it coming down, and take action to move a little more outside of your comfort zone each week.
I hope you liked this “HOW TO OVERCOME OBSESSION FROM YOUR PAST RELATIONSHIP” I’d love to hear any of your words OF wisdom on the subject you may HAVE. You can share anomalously, just send me a personal message and I’ll post the tips.
I ACCEPT All INVITES and messages as I believe you should be able to message me if you wish.
Until then wishing you a great week. From my heart to yours, Lady Prowess.
P.S If past hurts are still getting in your way of relationship happiness, don’t suffer a moment longer. Reach out to me today and let’s book you a New Beginning Session, where we can:
- Create a vision of where you are now and where you want to be
- Uncover any hidden challenges in your way
- Define steps to leave you feeling refreshed and free from the past
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